After learning your boyfriend is cheating your emotions can play a large role in your reasoning. To get him to stop cheating, you'll need to avoid general misconceptions and identify the specific issues in your relationship.
Below are three tips to help understand why your boyfriend is cheating.
The Alpha Male Excuse
It's unfortunate when someone accepts a general misconception after a boyfriend cheats. "All men are dogs and all men cheat", is an angry interpretation of why men are unfaithful. When you paint your relationship with such a broad statement, you lose perspective on the actual problems surrounding your relationship.
There are men that enjoy cheating because it feels like a game, but they are very much in the minority. There are specific problems in your relationship that resulted in your boyfriend cheating.
Identifying and understanding those specific problems can help you cope with the betrayal and get your boyfriend to stop.
It's Not Your Fault He Cheated
The initial reactions after learning your boyfriend cheated are anger, then betrayal, followed by guilt. It's a common reaction after the intense emotions have faded, to reach a depressed state where you may start to blame yourself for problems with the relationship.
It's important to separate cause and effect and understand your role in both. You may have had a large role in an issue that damaged the relationship, but the decision to cheat was made entirely by your boyfriend.
Remember that you were in the same relationship and suffered from the exact same problems and did not cheat. It's healthy to address the issues that damaged the relationship enough for him to seek a new partner, but the guilt surrounding the decision to cheat rests entirely with your boyfriend.
How To Get Him To Stop Cheating
Often, the determining factor when it comes to cheating is not physical, it's psychological. There are elements of the relationship that frames your boyfriends mind set leading him to believe that the relationship is lacking something.
Cheating usually starts by connecting with a new partner on a very basic level. As the new partner satisfies the void he perceives in his current relationship, it then progresses to a physical relationship.
Most focus on fixing their love life, but until you address those basic needs he thinks are missing he'll continue to seek a new partner.