When is a Relationship Bad? - Signs of a Toxic Relationship

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How you can tell if your relationship really is bad for you and what you should do about it. You don't have to stay in a relationship that is bad or toxic but if you choose to stay, there are things you can do to change it so that you have an even stronger relationship.

These are the signs that should be your first clues that you are in a toxic relationship.

1. Your partner verbally insults you and puts you down when you are with other people.
2. Actions speak louder than words so when your partner says "I love you" does it show?
3. Is your partner trying to control you? Checking your cell phone, wanting to know where you are at all times, even opening up your mail.
4. Your partner tries to make you feel like you are nothing without them or that you are incapable of taking care of yourself.
5. Have you gone so far as to try to change yourself for your partner? How you laugh, your hair, the way you dress?

When you are around someone who is toxic it can actually make you feel sick, so why does anyone stay in a toxic relationship? What would make someone continue to stay around anyone who seriously makes them feel sick emotionally or sometimes even physically?

Every toxic relationship has a pattern where in the beginning you are on cloud nine but that will quickly be followed by the storm. What will follow after that is the apology, sometimes with the promise it will not happen again but sooner or later the pattern starts all over from the beginning.

This can continue to go on for years or even decades unless you learn how to deal with it and put a stop to it. The best time to end this vicious cycle is in the beginning before it can have a chance to become a pattern but you can learn to deal with it even if you are already deep into the cycle.

We all know that in the beginning of a relationship it is at it's most exciting and romantic. Once your partner has you where they want you and the pattern begins it may be difficult to get out of the relationship.

Often when a person is drawn into a toxic relationship they have grown up in a home that was toxic. This will result in their trying to repeat the patterns that they grew up with without even realizing it. They just think that this is normal and accept as a way of life. Yet some people just believe that happiness is not what they truly deserve and so they are drawn to toxic people. Sometimes it can even be that a person feels that they are taking care of their partner by staying in a bad relationship.

One of the first things you must realize if you are in a toxic relationship is that you do have a choice. Maybe you suffer from low self esteem or you feel that you are depressed but once you understand that you have choices you can take the next step which is to stand up for yourself.

Maybe your partner has made you feel that all of the problems are your fault and if you really believe this it can be very hard for you to walk away or to begin to set new boundaries that can begin to change the relationship.

Often people find that joining a therapy group can help them to decide on whether to get out or try to work things out in the relationship.

Whether you choose to stay or to leave the relationship, you can begin to break the cycle of these toxic patterns. There are people who have actually stayed and were able to mend the relationship and build an even stronger bond with their partner.

The fact is that these relationships can be saved but it will take some time and both partners have to be willing to work on saving the relationship. If you are both willing to do whatever it takes, you can find yourself able to bond in a more healthy way.

So, if the answer to the question "is your relationship bad" is yes, you have to make a decision as to whether the relationship can be saved or if you should just walk away. You have to be able to walk away if you really want to work on building a healthy relationship whether with your current partner or someone new.

If you are not getting what you need from your partner, you should let them know what you really want and make it clear that you are willing to walk away if they are not prepared to give it to you. Whether it be support, love, or just honesty, if your partner really wants to make the relationship work, they should be willing to work with you to give you what you need.

Having a healthy relationship works for both partners while in a toxic relationship only one person is getting anything out of the partnership.

You have decide what you really want, make the decision and go for it. Be strong and know that you have the strength to stand up for yourself and you will make the right decision. While you first instinct is usually the right one, take the time you need to figure things out and you will be much more likely to do what is best for you.

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Kimberly Aita has 1 articles online

Kimberly Aita
Relationship problems can cause emotional upset and are so very difficult to get through but if you really want to get an ex back you need a step by step fool proof plan and that's what you're about to discover. When is a relationship bad and what you should do about it. Whether you decide to stay or go, you will find all of the answers you need in The Magic of Making Up.

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When is a Relationship Bad? - Signs of a Toxic Relationship

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This article was published on 2010/03/30
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