While any kind of break up is never easy, a separation and pending divorce has to be one of the hardest events in anyone's life. If you want to get through this period, and reconcile your relationship there are many avenues that you can take. It is certainly possible to mend your relationship, but first you need to understand the basic functions of a marriage.
Few seem to notice that a true marriage relationship is a living and breathing concept. This relationship is fluid and it grows overtime, and since few seem to realize this it can lead to a break down in communication. Understanding the dynamics and the difference between how men and women process information and problem-solve is one of the cornerstones of a successful relationship.
If you want to use this information to get your ex wife back into your life it is important to understand the exact and definable roles that each of you play in this relationship. This is not a time to become chauvinistic or clean to "traditional" roles of marriage, but a time to understand the fundamental differences between men and women and how each of you processes information.
As you begin to look back onto your relationship you may start to realize that men and women have very definable physical features. This goes beyond the traditional differences between a man and a woman's form, but the different mannerisms that each of you possess when you are expressing emotion. Tuning into the different physical signals that your ex wife gives you will go along way in understanding when the timing is perfect to start the reconciliation process.
When it comes to problem solving men and women are as different as night and day. When in the problem solving mode women will use their communication skills to illicit information and advice from her family and friends. Then she will discuss each of her options to figure out which is best for her in the current situation. While men on the other hand do the same but internally. They discuss the different options to any problem internally until he reaches the conclusion that makes the most sense then he will announce his conclusion. While neither approach is wrong it is important to understand the differences during the reconciliation process.
While just understanding these differences will go a long way to reconciliation with your ex wife this is not the only step that needs to be taken. Remember that this is a process that takes both time and energy. Understanding your partner is only the first step in this process. It is important to do your research and possibly see professional advice on how to mend the break down in your relationship.