Rush To a Marriage

in Relationship

Marriage requires endeavors of both spouses to ensure its success. If you are the only person who absolutely cares for and try to mantain your marriage while your partner does not think and do the same with you, your marriage is unlikely to be successful. A marital start can be wonderful experience, but a divorce end in court can be a nightmare that disturbs the life of both parties. Therefore, before coming to decision of marriage, be certain that you are the right person who your partner is seeking for and that you can build a lasting relationship with one another.


You find what you believe to be your ideal match, your imagination has leapt into the future and you can see yourselves married, possibly with kids and happily growing old together. What a wonderful picture. This kind of leaves the questions of are you really suited to each other and how is your partner going to react when faced with this joyous news. Talking about marriage too soon can have your partner running for the hills, especially if you broach the subject only a short time after your have met.


If you are looking to meet somebody specifically to marry then if you are too blatant about it then prospective partners could avoid you like the plague, that is unless you meet someone who is also just looking for someone to marry. You might have met your perfect match but if they are not ready for any serious commitment, so talking about marriage too soon could push them away and lose you the chance of happiness. If you are serious about finding your perfect mate then look for them and do not just accept the first vaguely acceptable date. Marriage is a serious commitment, there are far to many people who get married without being prepared for what it entails and without really knowing their partner.


Once the initial honeymoon period is over, and before you start swearing eternal love for your partner and booking the wedding venue, first find out what each of you want from the relationship. If your wants and needs are to different then you want to consider whether it is worth continuing the relationship, if it is unlikely to work then it is better to part on good terms now, rather than when it gets more complicated. If you have similar hopes and dreams for the relationship and ideally some common ground, such as shared interests then let the relationship get more serious. Enjoy the time that you spend getting to know each other and the memories that you build up along the way. If you are serious about marriage then give it at least a year until you broach the subject. You need to know that you can have a stable relationship together and just as importantly, you need to know that you like each other and that you are both each others best friends.


At the end of that first year, or longer, sit down with your partner and talk about how things have gone and where you would like them to go in the future. If you want to get married then be quite clear about the fact that that is your goal. You could hint for all your worth but that is only worth doing if your partner understands your hints. If you are clear about it then there can be no misunderstandings. What I would also say is that do not just agree to something just because your partner wants to hear it, you have to both be happy in your relationship, otherwise where is the point. By this time you should have a stable relationship, so do not just look at the question of marriage, look at everything that will take your relationship into the long term, such as where will you live, career aspirations, kids and who looks after them.


When talking about marriage to soon you can scare people away because of bad experiences or are scared that your perfect relationship could end up in divorce. You could both know people who have had bad marriages and messy divorces. Your partner could have been brought up in a broken marriage and it might not have been a positive experience or they could have been through a divorce themselves. It could be that they fear to lose the relationship they have with you. These are all reasonable fears and concerns and so you need to talk them through together and deal with them together.


So, if you want to find happiness with a partner and build a loving, fulfilling relationship that stands the test of time and possibly progresses to marriage, then do not start talking about marriage too soon. Get to know each other first and learn to enjoy each others company. Make no plans or decisions at least until the honeymoon period is over, you need to be able to make major decisions in the cold light of day and not the light, fluffy, haze of romance. Once you know that you can make a life together that works, and you have proved that your relationship is stable then start talking about marriage. Do not forget, if you have a stable relationship that looks as if could go the distance and your partner does not want to talk about the M word, you have a right to be heard. If you cannot talk them through all their fears and concerns then you need to decide if this relationship is really for you. Whatever happens, I hope that it all works out for you both.


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Michael Finlayson has 1 articles online

Being a student of life I thought it about time to get my ideas down in the hope that they will help people with whatever difficulties they are facing. If you want to read further help and guidance in dealing with relationship problems then my site might be able to help. Whatever your situation I wish you luck.

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Rush To a Marriage

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This article was published on 2010/07/27
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