Most of the time articles on breakups focus on the things you can do to win back your ex. You may find a few articles that focus on behavior changes you can make. If you feel the need to ask what you need to do to get him back, you have to admit that the relationship had troubles from the start. It may be that he or you were the primary problem, but the likelihood is that you both had blame to accept. Before you try to win him back, you need to take the time to examine what went wrong the first time. As you examine the role you both played in the problems, you will see the areas you were to blame for, and now you can seek to improve those.
In the event that you want to get back your ex-boyfriend, you must begin to deal with your own pain. Begin by addressing your own feelings of anger and frustration. It has been found that keeping a journal is a good way to begin dealing with these emotions. Be certain to write out your thoughts very clearly. Be as honest as you want, no one else will ever see this. The emotional nature of these thoughts makes them hard to cope with, and you may find that writing them down is very helpful. You may find it helpful to read over these thoughts later, while the simple writing them out may be enough to help you release these feelings. By eventually throwing away the paper that you have written these thoughts on, you may find that you are also throwing out those feelings. There will then be the possibility of reconciling with your ex or moving on in a new relationship, but you will control the situation as you control your feelings.
As the negativity is released, you can start the effort to win back your ex. You need to think about the good aspects of your relationship. Why were some moments happy? Did you sometimes feel that the negative pall over the relationship was stronger? What moments seemed to make him the most happy? What made him attractive to you, or you attractive to him? Was there some change in your attitude or personality? Could it be that the relationship took back seat to your careers? With your boyfriend, discuss these. Make sure you are positive when doing it.
During the time you were together, you were happy. The future gave each of you hopes and dreams of where the relationship would go. All those happy expectations went away at some point. Unless life threw you a curve ball, you might has neglected these dreams due to your focus being somewhere else. If both of you wish your relationship and not ended so badly, then you might have the chance to create an even better one together.