Each day hundreds of couples part ways. This can be because of one reason or another. Relationship breakups cause pain, sorrow, heartache not to mention the attendant feelings of acute depression. This is because we are relational beings and derive our wholeness and fulfillment from being in healthy relationships. That is when a relationship breaks we feel like the sky has fallen on our heads.
Many people who are in a breakup seek to get back together. Sometimes this is initiated by both parties or by just one of the couples. Restoring a lost relationship can be a daunting task and is not for the faint-hearted. It is essentially a sacrificial journey that requires ambitious steps to be taken. One of the first things to do in this direction may seem ironical but is maintaining no contact at all with your ex. But is this the best advice? Let is see.
After a breakup, it is recommended that you make no contact whatsoever with your ex. This separation and space allows for both of you to heal and reflect. Healing is extremely important because after a fallout, there are emotional scars that both parties have to content with. This may lead to relating patterns that are not healthy especially if any of you attempt to get into another relationship too soon. These emotional scars can actually cause pain and emotional stress to the other people you try to relate with. That is why no contact is recommended.
Another reason why experts recommend no contact is that it allows time for both of you to reflect on what you really want. Your ex is someone you had built a life around and there are many memorable moments that you shared. This cannot just be erased overnight.
Time apart also allows you to realistically evaluate your ex and the relationship. During the breakup, one's judgment can be easily clouded. It is quite possible because of the anger, to demonize your partner and not render a fair verdict in regards to them. After the passage of some time, the emotions will cool and you will be able to determine whether your ex is someone that you truly feel you should wholeheartedly pursue. This is a weighty matter because this may be someone you are going to spend the rest of your time with. Take as much time as you need in order to arrive at the most crucial decision.
Is your ex someone you would like to spend the rest of your time with? Whether you were already married to them or not does not invalidate this question. Asking yourself this question and also seeking the advice of other knowledgeable and mature people will lead you to the answer.