Hearing yourself saying the words, "he won't marry me," is never easy. Those words are always said with a bit of embarrassment and confusion. It doesn't matter if you've been dating your guy for just a year or ten years, if you feel he's your lifetime partner and he won't marry you, it hurts. You question your own appeal and you start to wonder if you've been wasting your time with a man who will never see you as his wife. Before you jump to any life changing conclusions, it's important to understand what his motivations are for not marrying you. Once you have more insight into why he may be holding back, you can then change the course of your future and get that engagement ring you want.
Each man has his own unique reasons for not marrying his girlfriend but in almost all cases there is a common thread that runs through the relationship. Once a couple has been together for any length of time and they've established the fact that they love each other dearly, they tend to fall into a specific pattern. In many cases, they'll move in together and unwittingly they take on the roles of husband and wife. With that comes a change in the dynamic of their relationship. They no longer work as hard to impress each other and, unfortunately, they start taking one another for granted.
You have to break free of your role of being his pretend wife if you want to become his real wife. If you're always doing everything you possibly can for him, he's likely neglecting your needs without even realizing he is.
That's why your mindset needs to shift in order to make his shift as well. You have to leave him to fend for himself more. That obviously doesn't mean you should be ending the relationship or moving into your own place. You're just going to spend more time chasing your own dreams and needs and letting him see you as the independent woman you are.
The slightest bit of difference in a relationship can transform it. Your boyfriend has to get the sense that you have other options. If you spend less time with him, start making more decisions on your own and look happy and fulfilled while doing so, he'll come to one realization very quickly. He'll suddenly see that unless he puts a ring on your finger, you may slip away from him.