Dealing With Jerks

in Relationship

Are you tired of dealing with jerks? Do you get angry when a repairman, who promised to be at your home between 12 and 4, does not show up or bother to call? Does it infuriate you when others gossip about you - on the web or to your friends? Are you sick of a loved one who is a drunk, deadbeat, or druggie? Do you long to slug the guy who cuts you off in traffic? If so, you are one of millions who feel exactly the same way.

When faced with a jerk, the worst thing you can do is to lower yourself to his/her level and act like a jerk yourself. Nothing good comes of it and many times violence is provoked. Use these helpful tips to deal with the jerk.

1. Ignore the jerk, if possible. Jerks thrive on controversy and chaos. And, since misery loves company, they want you to get involved. Walk away. The jerk has the problem, not you.

2. Realize that you cannot please everyone and some people react like jerks when they are not happy. Do your best to be polite and considerate toward others, even jerks.

3. It is best to communicate in a gentle, but clear manner. Humble yourself, i.e.; "I am sorry. I did not mean to cut you off." (Even if you did.) Or, "I am sorry. Maybe you misunderstood what I was saying. I meant ..."

4. Never retaliate. In the mind of jerks, it justifies their bad behavior and gives them permission to act even worse.

5. If you have a moment of rational communication with a jerk, try to help him/her see how destructive bad behavior is. Do not be surprised when this does not work.

6. When a jerk goes into attack or defensiveness, it is useless to argue. Get out of there!

7. Learn to recognize when your own defense mechanisms come into play, for example, when someone criticizes your child. Getting defensive makes the situation worse. If you have made a mistake, apologize! If not, you can always say, "I will think about what you have said." Even if what the person said was ridiculous, it never hurts to let them think that you will think it over.

8. Never escalate a problem. Their difficult behavior is out of your control (and maybe his/her own). So, "telling him off" or lecturing will not do any good; it will only make the problem worse.

9. When you have to deal with a jerk at work or within your family, get the help of a neutral person to help solve problems.

10. Never let a jerk make you feel less than you are worth. The opinion of a jerk is worthless. Just because a jerk calls you a name or criticizes you does not make it true. Hold your head up high and walk with confidence. If you are dealing with a jerk online, use your "Delete" button frequently! Bingo! Offending comments are gone! Remember, you can block screen names to eliminate jerks, too. Do not retaliate in any way.

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Ann M. Bowers has 1 articles online

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Dealing With Jerks

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This article was published on 2010/04/04
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