Break Up 101 - Tips For Survival

in Relationship

Are you the survivor of a break up? Have you lost all hope? There is hope and you will survive. Here are some survival tips.

To begin with, ask yourself, "Is the relationship really over?" Maybe you've been through this before; in other words this is just a temporary thing. Sometimes a separation can be good for a relationship.

If you know it's not a temporary thing, that it's really over, then you need to go about mourning the lost of the relationship. This is serious. Your ex was probably your closest friend in the world. Now you're alone.

Hopefully you have friends and family that you can turn to to discuss what is going on. But, they need to be sympathetic and allow you to talk, vent, and cry.

I know this is a hard time for you, but be patient with your friends and family. Most people are busy with their own lives and problems. They have little patience for dealing with other people's problems. They might listen for a couple of days, but very soon they will take the attitude of, "Get over it".

The grieving process takes time. Sometimes you need to work it out before you're ready to move on. So, if this is your situation you may need to see a counselor. A therapist can help you work through the issues that are unresolved. Many people have found that the best person to help you survive a break up is a counselor.

Eventually you have to begin moving on. Start by exchanging all the personal items you have with your ex. Throw away things like toothbrushes. Other items, like personal gifts, you may want to keep. Box these up and put them away for now. You don't want any reminders of your ex around the house for the time being.

Next, start to focus on how you can improve yourself. Now is the time to break out of the "we" thinking pattern of a couple and focus on "me" thinking. This is not selfish. You're re-creating your life and need to think about yourself.

Do the things you want to do that he or she didn't like doing. She didn't like gambling? Get involved in the guys' poker night. He didn't like chick flicks? Rent all the movies you missed seeing.

Start a self improvement campaign. Go work out. Take some classes. Join a hiking group. Get involved on a community board or activity.

Begin meeting new people, particularly people who can be friends not lovers. These people will provide a valuable network for you now and in the future.

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Rachel S. Kelly has 1 articles online

Eventually you will be ready to put yourself back on the market again. Go to singles events or check out online dating sites. You've recovered now and can meet someone new without all the baggage of your ex.

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Break Up 101 - Tips For Survival

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This article was published on 2010/03/30
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