Best Ways to Handle a Rebound Relationship

in Relationship

You've probably heard some pretty bad things about rebound relationships. Maybe you've actually been involved in a few rebound relationships that have ended badly. Generally speaking, rebound relationships do end badly when they start moving from "friends with benefits" relationships toward actual "we're now a serious couple" relationships. Of course, rebound flings present a lot of potential for fun, too. As long as you handle them correctly, there's no need for all the hassle - or restraining orders.

Be Honest About Your Intentions - Upfront

Rebound relationships generally go wrong in one of two ways:

  1. You weren't honest about your intentions upfront.
  2. Even if you were honest about your intentions upfront, someone screwed around and caught feelings.

I can't interfere with matters of the heart, but I CAN tell you that you absolutely have to be honest about what you want out of the relationship from the very beginning. If you're just looking for a way to get revenge on your ex-girlfriend, tell your rebound fling. If you're just looking for someone to have fun with every now and then, tell your rebound fling. If you're just looking for sex every now and then, tell your rebound fling.

Sure, any of those might make her want to back out (or slap your around), but, that's good. That means she wasn't rebound material in the first place and you've just saved yourself a world of headaches.

Stick to Your Boundaries

Once you've set those boundaries with your rebound girlfriend, make sure you stick to them. If any of the following situations present themselves, take a big ol' black Magic Marker and retrace the lines you drew in the beginning:

  • She wants you to meet her family. (Or, you start thinking about bringing her home to Mom.)
  • She wants you to meet her friends. (Or, you start thinking about bringing her along on guys' nights out. Of course, this CAN be okay if it's in a fun social setting; it's NOT okay if it's a wedding, a christening, or anything related to religion.)
  • She starts freaking out when she can't get in touch with you. (Or, you've decided she's out with some other guy when she won't answer the phone and that BOTHERS you.)
  • She starts talking about engagement rings, weddings, or anything to do with her biological clock. (Or, you start thinking any of these things sounds perfectly reasonable.)

None of these things is necessarily bad - they just mean what you thought was a fun rebound fling has actually started morphing into an actual relationship.

Don't Let Yourself Go

Given the above two tips, you might think with "Don't Let Yourself Go" I'm referring to not letting yourself get so swept up in the rebound fling that it becomes an actual relationship with feelings and all of that lovely dovey crap. Well, you'd be wrong. By "Don't Let Yourself Go," I mean don't start getting so comfortable in the relationship that you stop caring what you look like, how you present yourself, and what your goals are.

For example, in some relationships (and you KNOW if you haven't been in one yourself, you know someone who has), one or both of the people in the relationship starts working out less, dressing less attractively (or at least pulling their best stuff off the shelves less often), and forgetting about how they want to try for some job promotion they've had their eyes on for a while. In other words, don't get so comfortable with your rebound fling that you become a fat, sweat pants-wearing, minimum-wage making loser.

Why?

This chick is not your girlfriend! She is certainly not your wife! It's not that you SHOULD get so lazy with your girlfriend or wife that you become a fat lush, but rebound relationships are for one purpose and one person only: To have fun. Period. Once the two of you start moving into a zone so comfortable you stop giving a crap what you look like, the fun doesn't necessarily have to stop, but the rebound part of the relationship does.

Again, why? Because it's become a real relationship. Plus, rebound or real, there's no guarantee any of it's going to last. So, if things head south and she bolts, you're left with what? A huge beer gut and enough sweat pants to stock the Big & Tall section at Wal-Mart?

Dude. Don't let yourself go.

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Brooke Morgano has 1 articles online

Brooke Morgano is a former fitness instructor turned no-nonsense life coach who's interested in helping people - men, especially - get off their butts and start caring about their health, relationships, and careers. Learn more about the program she's watched helped thousands of guys get back on the right track - especially after bad relationships - at http://www.adoniseffect.com

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Best Ways to Handle a Rebound Relationship

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This article was published on 2010/03/29
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