Rebuilding discourse after infidelity is vital. There is no real relationship when the you are merely conversing with one another concerning household business. Although this is important it cannot be the sole item keeping the marriage together.
A significant component of that communication of course has to be honesty. Your cheating spouse told enough lies when they were having a marital affair. If the marriage is going to be rebuilt then honesty has to be first and foremost. No more dishonesty by actual words or through omission.
But even with this you have to be careful. Although truth is most certainly the best course of action, pursuing it at all cost can lead to more problems. In fact when done improperly honesty can wreck the relationship for good.
1. Communication Over Strained
You elect to engage in a frank discussion with your two timing husband or wife regarding the particulars of the extramarital relationship. You choose to do this to help with the recovery process. So your husband or wife starts discussing the specific details in a very graphic manner. It's not long before the anger inside of you starts coming to the surface.
Their description is too much to endure and the next thing you know a full blooded explosion has occurred. Your anger has been unleashed and you both start quarreling almost nonstop. After things have calmed down you make the decision that the relationship is finished. Or at the minimum you stay together yet from now on it will be akin to sharing a house with a complete stranger.
If you want to know the graphic particulars of the the affair then be prepared to call timeout and walk away from the conversation. Getting it in smaller doses can save you a great deal of emotional stress. You are presently under a lot of pressure you do not need to contribute to it anymore than what's currently there. Also remember that you do not always need to know the candid particulars of the affair to begin the healing phase. It is sometimes better to not learn too much.
2. Exercising Honesty Like A Weapon
After your spouse cheating you believe it's your personal right to be their judge and jury. In fact the entire court system. And oh boy do you exercise that right. You begin utilizing truth on your significant other like a powerful instrument. No matter what the topic you use it as an opening to explain to your mate all the things that are wrong with them. From something they mentioned years ago to irritating behaviors that you kept quiet about for years.
It's not long before your wife or husband figures out that two people can do this and before either of you realize it truth grenades are now being thrown at one another big time.
That is no way to heal following infidelity. To remain in the marriage takes truth but if there is absolutely no balance to all of it you might as well quit kidding yourself and start the divorce proceedings today. Honesty is meant to fix the relationship and not to result in even more hurt than you already have.