You probably already know that giving compliments is an effective skill that will help you to become one of the best liked individuals in any social situation, be it the office, a gathering or even within your own social circle.
Giving compliments seems to be such an easy thing to do but many people, myself included, have seen their compliments fall flat in their faces without the desired effect, which was for people to like them. In some cases, they sounded insincere despite having good intentions and the other party was put off.
Here are 4 mistakes people make when giving compliments:
Sometimes, we may be too eager to try to leave a good impression that we exaggerate our compliment. When this happens, our compliment will sound insincere and make the other person fell uncomfortable, despite the fact that our intentions were good in the first place.
For example, telling a girl whom you have just met "You are the most beautiful girl in the world" is exaggeration. You may mean that but this is not a compliment to be made on the first meeting.
The phrasing of your compliment is very important. A compliment that is poorly phrased will fall flat, however noble the underlying intentions are. For example, saying something like "Who would have thought that you could put yourself through law school?" is patronizing and condescending. You may have meant well but it certainly doesn't come across as that.
This is somewhat similar to the previous pitfall. While luck may sometimes be a factor to one's success, it is not gracious to point that out when complimenting someone on their successes. Instead, attribute their success to the hard work they have put in and praise them for it.
Say something like "What a great achievement for you. You must have worked so hard for this" instead of "What a great achievement for you. I wish I was as lucky as you".
A compliment without justification sounds hollow. Instead of merely saying "What a great painting", say something like "What a great painting. I'm not so much of an art critic but I feel your painting has really captured the essence of the Christmas spirit together with all the warm feelings that come together with it." Give them the details and your compliment will sound sincere and a whole lot different than the normal "that's nice" that most people use.